


Dear Yeonjun...

by hueningsmole



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badly Written, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, no seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hueningsmole/pseuds/hueningsmole
Summary: Yeonjun remembers the first time he read Beomgyu's letter and all the memories that came rushing back to him. He never expected to make new ones he will forever cherish after that.One shot. Based off that one scene in Chocolate where Kang and Chayeong talk by the water on her birthday. I wrote this when I first watched the episode since it made me very sad that night, I decided to finally post it since I'm getting a new computer and will be deleting all my written work from this one, and if I'm being honest, I quite like this ending, so here you go.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Yeonjun & Choi Beomgyu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Dear Yeonjun...

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't edited by anyone other than myself and I tend to miss very small details! I'll post all of Beomgyu's letter in my ending notes.

_Dear Yeonjun-ah,_

“aH YOU BRAT!” The older boy exclaimed as he chased a petit blond boy with an umbrella.

“Sorry Yeonjun-ah!” The blond let out a loud laugh as he ran farther away from the other.

The older sighed, stopping to catch his breath. His hands came up to his hips as he bends over. “You’re lucky I’m tired! Stop being so disrespectful.”

“I’m also lucky you are old.”

“COME BACK HERE! I KNEW THIS PICNIC WAS A TRAP!”

_Yeah, I started this letter being informal with you. It will be the last time I’ll be informal with you; I promise. Remember when we first met? When you thought we were the same age for a whole month, and we called each other informally? That was the best month of my life._

“Yeonjun-ah, so as you know, my birthday is coming up.” The blond rested his chin on his hand as he looked over at his friend. “What are you getting me?”

His friend rolled his eyes, “Something useful.”

Beomgyu’s eyes lit up, his face showing an exaggeration of hope. “Like…Gucci?”

“No. Like a brain. You lack one.” Yeonjun laughed as Beomgyu’s expression became one of fake hurt.

“Ah, you really have no conscious!”

“Anyways, when is your birthday? In a year?”

“March.”

“What? No way, you’re older than me.”

“When were you born?”

“September.”

“Wow…you are really young. A September 01’ liner.”

“0-01?! I was born 1999!”

Both boys looked at each other in confusion before they realized their misunderstanding. They burst out laughing, one of them almost choked on his drink.

“I BEEN LETTING YOU BE INFORMAL WITH ME ALL THIS TIME AND YOU ARE YOUNGER?! WHAT IS THIS?!”

_Before you, I never had close friends. You were my first friend. My best friend._

The two boys laid on the opposite ends of the mattress. One of them was on his phone watching some dumb YouTube video while the other grumbled in frustration over some math homework he couldn’t solve.

“That’s it. Yeonjun-hyung, I’m dropping out. I have decided that calculus is too hard and should be removed as a subject in the school system. Until then, I refuse to go to school.” Beomgyu said in a dramatic tone, flipping over on his back. After he was met with silence, he lifted his head up a bit only to see the other boy still paying attention to the screen.

“Hyung!” Beomgyu whined for a while until he decided to take action. With his foot, he blocked the screen from Yeonjun’s view until he gave in and looked at the younger boy. “Give me attention!”

“Ah…you really are the younger annoying brother I never had.” The college student rolled his eyes before swatting the high schooler’s foot out of the way.

“HEY!”

_My thrift store buddy. The one who helped me come out of my shell. I always looked up and admired you for that._

“Try this on.” Yeonjun said, shoving clothes on a hanger into Beomgyu’s chest.

The boy, who previously had blonde hair but now had a layer of orange on his head, sighed. “Why am I always your fashion lab rat?”

“Because you can pull off any look.” Yeonjun said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t know Hyung…I don’t think I can.”

Yeonjun stopped looking through the racks of clothes to turn to the younger. “Not with that attitude you won’t! Stand up tall! You’re attractive! Own it! Now go try this on!”

Beomgyu felt his ears turn red but did as he was told. Maybe one day he will believe it. Actually, with Yeonjun’s persistence, he was sure he will.

_If I’m being honest, if it wasn’t for the confidence you gave me, I would have never met Soobin. I know Soobin refuses to tell you or, well, anyone, the story on how we met. So, I’ll tell it for you one last time before I go, yeah?_

Yeonjun looked around the library trying to find Beomgyu. With all the finals they been having this past week, he had barely seen or heard from him. As soon as he spotted a familiar mop of light brownish hair with a fluffy jacket, he made his way over there.

“Beomgyu-ah! There you are. I haven’t seen you in forever.” Yeonjun said frowning before he pulled out a chair and sat next to the other. “How were your finals?”

“Horrible! The worst! I just want to get to an art classes only schedule already.” Beomgyu whined as he shut the book, he had been previously in grossed in.

“Soon, don’t worry.” Yeonjun reassured him. “Are you free this afternoon? I’ll treat you to something.”

Beomgyu shook his head. “Actually, I’m not. Soobin and I are going to a study group.”

“Ah, I see. Tomorrow?” The oldest asked.

“Soobin is finally treating me for ice cream for that bet he lost.”

“What about…next year? Is your schedule Soobin free then?”

“Yeonjun-hyung~ Are you jealous of Soobinnie?”

“What?! No! I don’t even know the guy.”

Beomgyu looked unimpressed at this statement. After a couple seconds of silence Yeonjun finally admitted his defeat. “Okay fine. A little. I just wanna hang out with my best friend, you know?”

“Idiot.”

_It was a bright sunny day in Seoul, the birds were chirping, and the wind whispered careless nothings into humanity’s ears. Was that a poetic enough start? Heh. Remember that day I was super hungover from the party we had gone to?_

Beomgyu and Yeonjun laughed as Beomgyu missed the shot for the 5th time in a row. “Okay, I guess you gotta drink up now, again.”

Yeonjun quickly took the cup from the table and downed it, then proceeded to move Beomgyu over so he could take his turn. All he had to do was make it into the last cup, and the duo would be the beer pong champions of this party. Yeonjun swore the ball moved in slow motion as it circled over the top and slid down into the cup.

“WE WON!” Beomgyu yelled. “MOM! MOM! MOM WOULD BE PROUD!”

Yeonjun high-fives his partner as his competitors murmured at each other in disappointment. Today had been Beomgyu’s first college party. So far, they had beat half the people here in Karaoke for half of their night and had spent the other half here. Beomgyu seemed to be having an enjoyable time, and to Yeonjun, that was all that mattered. Nothing made his heart grow three times bigger than seeing his baby have a good time.

_Yeah, I don’t remember the morning either, it was crazy._

The boys laid on the floor in Yeonjun’s dorm. The light came in through the blinds and all they felt was their heads pounding. They had gotten home late at night and had decided to stay up watching k-dramas and eating ice cream till they passed out like the drunk idiots they were. Now, a couple hours after, they were regretting their decisions.

“My head fucking hurts. Shit. Do we have anything?”

“Nope. I’ll go to the store. You can’t even get up.”

“Okay. I sleep. Goodnight.”

“…Old man.”

_Anyways, I had gone out to the kimchi place near the hospital, remember it? I was peacefully eating my food when suddenly this HUGE TALL STRANGER started sobbing in the bench next to me._

Beomgyu could feel the bright light burn his eyes as he walked out of the shop, food in hand. He had gone to get some hangover remedies only to come back and find that Yeonjun was now passed out on the couch. After covering him with a blanket and putting a pillow under his head, he had left the remedies on the desk next to his bed. He swore that these days, he might as well have been the older one.

He had debated on whether he should stay or not, but then his stomach grumbled. He was hungry and Yeonjun didn’t have any uneaten food left in his cramped dorm. And so, Beomgyu had ventured out to buy food of his own. Here he was, sitting on a table outside with a small headache and food in his belly. His morning wasn’t that awful.

Then he heard someone start full on ugly crying. Beomgyu turned to his right to see a stranger who had previously been sadly chewing on some bread. The boy was now sobbing all over his pastry and showed no intensions of stopping.

_I’ll be honest, I would usually ignore strangers like this, it’s none of my business what they are going through! But I remembered all the times YOU had stopped to help these strangers. I have never met a person so selfless and kind in my life and never will meet someone like that other than you. I learned not to be so selfish from you._

“Hyung! I told you we should have hurried. Now we are going to be late.”

“Beomgyu, we couldn’t just leave the little girl crying. Aren’t you glad we found her mom and she is safe now?”

“…Yeah. But we are still late for school. A tardy is a tardy.”

-

“Did you have to stay to take notes for San? We won’t make the movie in time.”

Yeonjun turned to Beomgyu, who was pouting as he dragged his feet. They were currently on their way to the movie theatre. “He is always there for class. If he wasn’t there for some reason today, it must be serious. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to fall behind.”

Beomgyu nodded, Yeonjun wasn’t completely wrong. He could see where he was coming from.

-

“Beomgyu-ah! I haven’t seen you in days! What happened?” Yeonjun had questioned Beomgyu as soon as he made his way into the older’s dorm.

“Sorry I had to cancel so much this week. Ryujin had her animal rights rally going on and she couldn’t find volunteers, so I agreed to help.”

“Woah…how much did she pay you?”

Beomgyu frowned, “She didn’t.”

Yeonjun sat up from his previous position in the couch. “For real? Beomgyu doing something out of the goodness of his heart? That’s a first.”

The younger let out a chuckle, “Shut up Hyung.”

_I was one of them too, when we met at the thrift store that day. I never understood where you got the confidence to come up to some boy crying in the dressing room that day._

Yeonjun knocked softly on the wooden door of the dressing room. It was just another normal winter day. He had been spending almost all his break days in the same thrift shop. He loved style and clothes. Once he had found this shop while taking a stroll, there was no way to hold him back from it.

While drifting from rack to rack, he heard what he assumed was his imagination. That is until he got closer to the noise. It was definitely crying. Yeonjun knocked once again, this time he prompted a question, “Hi, are you okay in there?”

A moment of silence passed as he heard some shuffling from inside and sniffing. “Y-yeah. I’m good.”

The shaky voice broke Yeonjun’s heart. “It’s okay if you aren’t. Do you want to talk about it?”

“…No.”

“Alright.”

“…”

Yeonjun waited in silence till the person in the other side broke it. “Are you still there?”

“I’m here.”

“M-maybe I do want to talk about it.”

“I’m listening.”

“I-I think I broke the zipper to the jacket b-because I’m too fat.” He heard more sobbing.

“Hey no. That’s not true. It’s a thrift shop. Clothes here are old. It’s not you.” The sobbing stopped and there was more sniffling.

“You’re right…yeah. Today had been an exhausting day. I-I guess I’m just overreacting.”

Yeonjun understood that, he had days like that too. “What happened?”

“It’s a long story.”

Yeonjun fiddled with the hem of his shirt before he made a life changing decision. He spoke. “Well, come out, I have all the time in the world if it comes to you.”

_I never understood it. Not until that day. Not until I followed your footsteps and decided to be a decent human being myself._

Beomgyu got up from his table and made his way over to the bench where the tall boy sat. “Is your dessert good?”

The boy turned to Beomgyu, with his rosy button nose and soft tear-filled eyes. “Mhm.”

“I like that flavor too. Cream filled is the best. Better than mint chocolate.”

At that statement, the boy started sobbing harder. Beomgyu panicked. “Wait no, don’t cry. I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

“N-no. It’s just that my best friend loved mint chocolate. I miss him.”

“Huh? I’m sure you’ll see him soon.” And the boy cried more. Beomgyu was really fucking this up, wasn’t he?

“S-sorry…I’m not this emotional usually. This is so embarrassing. Crying in front of a stranger. I’m sorry.”

“No! Don’t apologize. It’s okay. I did that once too.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. If you want, I can tell you the story, and then maybe you could tell me why you’re crying?”

The other boy hesitated for a bit. It seemed like he was weighing his options before he replied, “It’s not…a nice reason. It’s a lot.”

Beomgyu smiled at him, “It’s okay to sad cry, and hey, as someone once old me, “I have all the time in the world when it comes to you.”

Finally, the other boy let out a small smile with cute dimples on display.

_Talking about Soobin, I never understood why you hated him. I never will now, I guess._

Yeonjun watched as Soobin and Beomgyu walked around with the VR headset on, screaming at something only they could see. The oldest had been quiet this whole hangout. Ever since Beomgyu finally decided to introduce Soobin to him, he had dragged both of them along to every hangout they planned. Today, Yeonjun had invited Beomgyu to hang out. Just them two. Alone.

But, just like the other times, Beomgyu had brought Soobin with him, insisting that Soobin needed to make more memories in this place. “New, happy memories, Yeonjun-hyung!”

Yeonjun swore he wasn’t jealous. He just wanted his best friend back and some alone time with him. He had nothing against Soobin. He didn’t even realize that he tended to get more serious and less talkative around the other boy. The first time they met, Yeonjun won’t lie, he almost asked him out. Soobin was too cute and Yeonjun, who tended to be picky about the people he liked, was instantly attracted to him.

The oldest had never been shy when it comes to talking to people, especially cute people. Beomgyu had told Yeonjun he would meet him at their coffee place, not letting him know that Soobin was also invited. When the college student had walked in, he spotted a cute boy sitting in his and Beomgyu’s usual booth. He waited for a bit, wondering if the boy was going to meet up with someone. After a few minutes, no one appeared and Beomgyu hadn’t arrived.

Yeonjun decided to go over to the lonely boy with soft black hair and sit across from him. His heart skipped a beat. He was never nervous when introducing himself to someone, why was he so scared of doing so now? He quickly let out his self-presentation. “Hi, I’m Yeonjun.”

The other boy looked around him, before his eyes landed on Yeonjun again. “Uh, um…hello?”

Yeonjun let out a giggle and kept look at the boy. He looked familiar. His soft eyes. His cute nose. His persona was just familiar to him. “What’s your name?”

“Oh…Soobin.” That name immediately rang a bell in Yeonjun’s brain. It was him. The one who kept stealing all his best friend’s attention. Honestly, he understood why. Soobin seemed so gently and reminded him of warm spring day.

“It’s you.”

“Huh?” Soobin said flustered, “Me?”

Before Yeonjun could reply, Beomgyu made his dramatic entrance into the shop and instantaneously spotted the two boys. He made his way over to them. Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile at the confidence his friend had gained over the years.

“Yeonjun-hyung! I see you met Soobin-ah!”

“…I’m older than you.” Soobin spoke before Beomgyu brushed him off just like he did to Yeonjun’s same complains.

_Soobin is the sweetest boy I met, apart from you, Yeonjun-ah._

Yeonjun’s heart fucking ached. His heart felt heavy. His heart…it was just absolutely destroyed. He sat outside the building, his eyes looking over at the parking lot where the cars of those he knew rested. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Yeonjun knew it was coming, but it felt surreal. He didn’t want this to be real. He couldn’t have this be real.

His eyes burned but he promised he wouldn’t cry. Not today. He had promised him he would smile and remember his best times with him. But…he couldn’t help it. He cried. He sobbed. He broke down. He broke his promise.

“Sorry Beomgyu…” Yeonjun whispered as he curled into a ball, trying to shield his heart from more aches and breaks. “I’m sorry. I wish I could have done more for you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Tears fell down his cheeks and he could feel his snot building up inside his nose. But he could care less. He could care less about staining his expensive suit. He could care less if others saw him as pathetic for not being able to go inside. Yeonjun just wanted his Beomgyu back. He wanted his little brother back.

“Choi Yeonjun?” He heard a soft, deep voice ask him. “Can I sit with you?”

The boy looked up to spot Soobin already taking a seat on the steps with him. Yeonjun didn’t reply, his words got stuck in his throat. A tranquil mood fell over then. Yeonjun won’t admit it, but it was calming.

“Do you think Beomgyu would enjoy today? It’s so warm but cloudy.” Soobin said breaking the silence. He was right, clouds covered the sky as a heat wave fell upon the earth. It was strange.

“Yeah. His two favorite things in one. Not getting sunburned and the warmness of summer.”

“Exactly.”

It was tranquil again as both boys just looked up at the clouds. One of the clouds looked just like a kite. Another one like a dog. One like a cat. Yeonjun kept counting all the sheep he could make out from them and he tried to calm his breathing. The tears had stopped at this point.

“Are you going home already?”

“…No. I couldn’t even bring myself to go inside.”

More silence before the younger spoke up, “I’ll go with you, yeah?”

Yeonjun looked down at his shoes as he thought about the offer. “…Okay.”

_Oh, how nice it feels to call you Yeonjun-ah!!!!_

“So, Yeonjun-ah, huh?” Soobin had once asked Yeonjun while they waited for Beomgyu to come back from ordering as they saved a table at the restaurant.

“You can’t call me that.” Yeonjun had replied. He didn’t mean to be cold. He just didn’t know how to interact with the boy. Well, he knew how to. He just didn’t want to. He was scared to. He couldn’t quite figure out why.

Soobin looked a bit taken back but nodded. “Sorry, Yeonjun…”

“Okay. Is Beomgyu almost finished ordering?”

“I think there is a long line.”

“I’ll go wait with him.”

And with that, Yeonjun got up and left Soobin in the table. Sitting alone, just like when Soobin did to Yeonjun when they first met.

_But, yeah, Soobin is sweet._

“Did I do something wrong to him?” Soobin asked, confused.

Beomgyu looked up from his work, giving Soobin a sympathetic look. “No! You didn’t. I don’t know why he is being like that. He is always so nice to everyone.”

“I know. I seen him helping around campus.” The tall boy said. He looked down at his own work, the text going over his head. He couldn’t understand the message of his psychology homework. He couldn’t understand why Yeonjun would refuse to talk with him.

To be fair, he also couldn’t understand why he wanted Yeonjun to talk with him. Soobin was always noticeably quiet and kept to himself. But with Yeonjun, he couldn’t help but want to be louder. He craved the attention of the older male. He didn’t know why, but he did. He couldn’t accept the fact that Yeonjun didn’t want to talk with him.

“He does that a lot. Yeonjun-hyung is too nice for his own good. I swear, one of these days I’ll probably catch him trying to help an old lady cross the street.” Beomgyu replied as he lazily sketched on the side of his paper.

“Then I am determined to be his friend. I will befriend him.” Soobin whispered to himself, but luckily for him, Beomgyu heard his wishes.

_He is caring._

Soobin pouted as Beomgyu kept on ranting to him about his failed date to the boy. They were currently in Beomgyu’s dorm room, which they usually avoided due to Beomgyu’s loud roommate who always had his friends over. When they were there, Soobin could never hold a conversation with the other boy, who’s words were felt unheard due to the loud sounds that echoed in the dorm. Thankfully though, Jeongin had gone out with his friends that day.

“It’s so frustrating, Soobin-ah! I don’t understand her. If she didn’t want to eat there, why did she say yes? It doesn’t make sense. I do not understand girls. Ugh, I’ll never find love.” Beomgyu sighed and dramatically fell upon his bed. Soobin patted the younger’s head as he gave him some comforting words.

“I’m sure she just wasn’t the right one for you. Or maybe she is just too nice to say no or did not want to hurt your feelings by bashing your favorite restaurant. I remember when Taehyun had mint chocolate with Kai when he failed an audition, even though he hated it.”

“Yeah…but did he tell him he didn’t want it afterwards?”

“Well, not really…okay, that was kind of rude on her part. But hey, it was nice overall, wasn’t it?”

Beomgyu bit his lip while he thought about the overall date. He then replied with a nod.

Soobin smiled, “See, you guys still had an enjoyable time. Give it another shot, it is just the first date. Plus, you been pining over her for weeks now and you finally got the courage to ask her out. If the second date doesn’t work out, then at least you can say you tried without any regrets.”

“You’re right.” Beomgyu had said afterwards. After a moment, Beomgyu turned to look up at Soobin then smiled. “Anyways, how’s you love life? You heard me talk about mine so often, but you never talk about yours!”

“Because it is non-existent.”

“Have you never liked anyone? Dated someone? Come on! Tell me!” Beomgyu playfully slapped Soobin’s legs as he sat up, looking at the giant expectantly.

“No.” The older insisted.

“There must be someone!”

“…When I was younger- “Soobin started before he was interrupted by Beomgyu’s squeals.

“Sorry, continue.”

“When I was younger and I was on vacation with my family in America, there was this kid crying at the beach.” The boy said with a smile tugging his lips. “I remember that day vividly. He was upset, and I tried to cheer him up. We went for ice cream. And played in the sand. My ten-year-old self was in love. No joke. It was only a day, but I swear that he was my first love. I sound so cheesy oh god.”

Soobin looked at Beomgyu only to see him have a serious, unreadable expression on his face. “D-did I say something wrong? Oh my god, are you homophobic?”

Beomgyu gave Soobin a small smile and shook his head. “No! It is just that…It’s cute. Maybe you’ll find him again.”

With his fears tamed, Soobin laughed. “I doubt that. It was in America years ago. There is no way.”

“I disagree.”

“We’ll see.”

_He reminds me of that part of you that always cared for me. You guys could be soulmates_

“Soobin hurry up! Eat faster!” Beomgyu complained as he waited for Soobin to finish up all the food he ordered.

“Ah, wait! If I eat faster, I’ll choke.” Soobin said while chewing and continued to stuff more food into his mouth.

“You’re just like Yeonjun, always getting so much food.”

Soobin didn’t know why, but his heart smiled at that.

_I wish you guys had talked more._

“Hyung! Over here!” Beomgyu called Yeonjun over as he entered the café. Yeonjun panicked, there next to his best friend was no other than Choi Soobin himself. Once again, the now blonde had tricked Yeonjun into meeting up with them again. It was too late to turn back, so he went ahead and sat in the booth.

“I got you your order already.” The blonde said, placing Yeonjun’s usual coffee and a pastry in front of him.

“Thanks…” Yeonjun murmured.

“So…Yeonjun, have you gone out on any dates lately?” Beomgyu asked him.

“What? No.”

“What about you, Soobin?”

Soobin shook his head, his eyes full of confusion.

“Oh…” Beomgyu said before getting up and patting them both on the shoulder. “I actually have work right now that I totally forgot about, so, enjoy your food! Tell me how this date goes.”

“What?!”

“Choi Beomgyu come back!”

And…he was gone. The two boys who remained turned to look at each other, both completely red in the face as they stuttered to get words out. Let’s just say, they refuse to talk about that day no matter how much Beomgyu asked them about it.

_I hope when I’m not there, you guys will._

“Yeonjun.”

“Yeah?”

Yeonjun and Soobin sat on the soft grass. The sun shone down on them as the breeze tussled their hair. Ever since the day of Beomgyu’s funeral, the two tried to meet up often and visit spots where they have had important memories with him. Today was their fourth time meeting.

The previous times they met, it was usually them walking around in silence with occasional small talk and then a quiet goodbye. While to some that might seem distant and cold, to them it was comforting. Yeonjun needed that closure while Soobin couldn’t stand to lose one of his only friends. This was a good compromise for them. Yeonjun got to take a walk-through memory lane and Soobin was able to hold on to a large part of Beomgyu’s life, that being Yeonjun himself.

“I never been to this part of Seoul before.” Soobin had mentioned on their way to the spot where Beomgyu and Yeonjun had held picnics at every spring. While it wasn’t spring anymore, Yeonjun had insisted they visit this place next. Soobin couldn’t deny his wishes.

“I hadn’t either, and I lived here for a while. Me and Beomgyu found it by accident when we got lost during a school trip.” The older boy then went on to tell Soobin the fond memory and adventure that had led them to this garden of Eden. And so, the boys arrived at their destination and set up the picnic.

“I wish I had come with you both. Last spring. I shouldn’t have worried so much about those stupid exams.” Soobin laid down on the grass and closed his eyes. He could hear the chatter of a mom and her kids, the noises of the city, and his own slow breathing.

“You’re here now, aren’t you?” He heard Yeonjun reply to him.

“I guess I am.”

_Talk._

“I hate camping.” Soobin huffed as he failed to set up his tent again. “I have decided I hate camping just like Beomgyu decided he hated math.”

Yeonjun laughed as he remembered all those times Beomgyu had cursed math out. He got up and headed to where Soobin was. “Need help?”

“Please?” Soobin asked, looking at Yeonjun with his soft, pure eyes and a pout that made his heart ache. After a few more attempts, Yeonjun had noticed that Soobin’s tent was broken. That explained why it wasn’t staying up.

“You can stay in mine, it’s no problem.” Yeonjun won’t admit it, but he was kind of glad Soobin’s tent decided to malfunction. The rest of the trip went by smoothly; Yeonjun took Soobin hiking around the camping area as he told him stories about all of Beomgyu’s previous misfortunes on these trips. Apparently, Beomgyu was not meant for the outdoor life, but his dad always took him out and he eventually got used to it. Yeonjun would join their family outings every break when they were in high school.

Soon enough, the two made their way back to their camping ground and attempted to cook some food for themselves. They ate in silence as they enjoyed their surroundings. The campfire providing them with much needed warmth and the sounds of crickets and other jolly creatures rang in the air.

“Yeonjun-hyung, can I ask you something?” Over their previous appointments, Yeonjun had started to warm up to the younger boy. Eventually, the older had finally decided to let him into his inner circle.

“Go for it Soobin-ah.”

Soobin felt nervous, this felt like a taboo topic between them. It was the elephant in the room whenever they met up. He had to know, or it would drive him crazy. “Why did you hate me?”

The latter stayed quiet for a minute. Soobin’s heart raced, he messed up. He started thinking of all the possibilities that could’ve been if he just hadn’t asked. His breathing started to speed up just because he-

“I didn’t hate you. I don’t think I can hate you.” Yeonjun had cut off Soobin’s thoughts.

“Why did you avoid me then? You’re so friendly to everyone…why not me?”

Yeonjun stayed quiet again. To be honest, he didn’t know at first. All he knew was that he was scared. He thought about his answer before giving it to the boy. “Because I was jealous of how much time you and Beomgyu would spend. Before I met you, of course.”

“And when you met me? Am I just unpleasant to you?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“Because if I befriended you then, then I would have fallen for you. And that would have proven Beomgyu right.”

Soobin’s breath hitched as he turned to look at Yeonjun. The boy was looking at the campfire. The flames that danced in front of them also danced in Yeonjun’s eyes. His black hair fell over his face as he bit his lip. He looked stunning. Then he turned to Soobin, and that’s when he knew there was no turning back. Yeonjun will admit it, Beomgyu was right.

_Hang out._

Soobin couldn’t stop looking at Yeonjun. His eyes twinkled as the boy looked at the big screen in front of him. It had been a couple of weeks since the two had decided to try dating. For their one-month anniversary, Yeonjun had took them to get their hair dyed. And now, a couple of hours later, Soobin had brought the now blue haired boy to watch a movie.

Soobin had never been one for cheesy romance films, but Yeonjun seemed to love them. That’s how they ended up here, inside the theatre with the older immersed with the story and Soobin immersed in the way Yeonjun pouted every time the characters missed a chance to get together.

How could he not be enthralled at Yeonjun beauty, though? The boy was beautiful. Soobin still could not believe he was his. Yeonjun turned to Soobin and gave him a bright smile. His hands came up to brush Soobin’s pink hair out of his eyes.

They stayed like that for a bit. The movie was long forgotten as the boys looked at each other. The younger slowly intertwined their fingers. There was no way he was letting this boy go.

_Go to that kimchi place._

“I actually never ate inside. This is the first time.” Soobin said while him and Yeonjun sat in their seats. Soobin had mentioned earlier this week that he missed the kimchi that him and Beomgyu used to have occasionally. And so, Yeonjun took this at his chance to finally take him there.

The older looked shocked at this, “You’re telling me that you both came here all the time but never actually ate inside?”

“Mhm. Me and Beomgyu always ate- “Soobin pointed to a bench through the window next to them.”-Over there.”

“Do you want to go eat there?” Yeonjun asked him.

Soobin thought for a bit before he answered. “No. That’s mine and Beomgyu’s place. Let us make this our place, yeah?”

Yeonjun didn’t reply. He just smiled, took Soobin’s hand in his and brought it up to his lips.

_And go to the thrift store._

“Try this on too!” Yeonjun exclaimed as he pushed yet another shirt into the pile of clothes that was pressed up against Soobin’s chest.

“Junnie…how can I try this stuff on when you are constantly giving me more outfits?” Soobin questioned in a teasing way, even though his heart eyes said the opposite.

The blue haired boy felt a blush creep up his face. “Oh…sorry. Just go try it on!”

“Okay, okay! I will. Give me a moment.”

Yeonjun smiled as he waited for Soobin to come out of the dressing room. Ever since Soobin had agreed to be his model for once of his projects, he had started dragging him around every department store he could find.

Of course, he saved this shop for last. Beomgyu would be livid to hear that shy boy Soobin was now going to model for him in the place his best friend first started building up his confidence. At times like this, Yeonjun secretly wished he were still here. He craved the jokes that they would both have shared while waiting for Soobin to change outfits and the arguments that would occur over their different opinion on styles.

But when Soobin would come out of the dressing room slowly and give him his dimpled smile, he knew it was okay. Yeonjun had never been one to believe in religion or in the idea of Heaven or Hell, but for now he wanted to believe that where ever Beomgyu was, being in that classic idealistic eternal salvation people imagined or as an guardian angel that watched over them both or even about to reincarnate, he knew he would be happy the two of them were here now. Even if it didn’t include him.

_Hey, Yeonjun-ah!!!!!!! I’ll never get tired of that…but Yeonjun-ah, I’ll tell you something. It’s a promise you must make me._

Yeonjun took a deep breath before he opened the door to the room in which his best friend waited for his final day on this Earth. Every time he came to the hospice, he would feel his heart break a little more. A bit of his soul would chip away knowing that his best friend was here and there was nothing he could do about it.

He remembers the first few weeks Beomgyu showed any signs of sickness. When started to look skinner and Yeonjun assumed Beomgyu was just skipping his meals. After that, the older kept a close eye on him. It wasn’t till he noticed that no matter how much the younger ate, he was always fatigued and constantly losing weight. The whole diagnosis and the attempts of treatment were all blurry to Yeonjun, who had tried hard to keep up with his best friend and university classes at the same time. If you were to ask him how he had ended up visiting his best friend at a hospice for these past weeks, he really couldn’t tell you. If anything, he was still in denial.

“You’re late! You said you would be here an hour ago.” Beomgyu jokingly complained as soon as he spotted Yeonjun at the entrance. “I asked the cooks if they could make us food but started to get cold so…I ate it. Sorry hyung!”

Yeonjun stood at the entrance quietly as he nodded along to Beomgyu’s words. “I had to stay to turn in my portfolio, I’ll be here on time next time.”

At that, Beomgyu’s smile slowly faded. “Right… next time.”

The older’s heart broke again. “No stop. Beomgyu there will be a next time. I’ll be here tomorrow. I will. Don’t say things like that. Please.”

“Hyung…”

“And you might get better! There is still a chance you’ll get better.” Yeonjun tried to convince himself back then. “Miracles happen! Then we will be back out and in the university’s library complaining about having to write our thesis for class and- “

By this point, Yeonjun had burst into tears. Beomgyu offered him his open arms, which Yeonjun gladly went to embrace. It was a much-needed hug.

“Hyung…it’s okay. It will be okay. You know it will be. Just because I won’t be here physically it doesn’t mean I won’t be here with you. Even when I’m gone and I am out of this place, I will be right back to drinking coffee with you in the library even if you don’t see me. You’ll feel me there!”

“B-but I don’t want you to go…”

“Can I give you something? But you can’t open it till I’m out of this place…okay?”

Yeonjun used all his will power to hold his tears back and stand up straight. Then, he nodded. “Okay.”

Beomgyu grabbed what appeared to be an envelope from his bedside table. “Remember, you have to promise not to open it now.”

“I promise.”

“Good…now I’m going to ask for a huge favor.”

_When I’m gone, spend Soobin’s birthday with him. He hasn’t had good birthdays._

The waves crashed up against the sand as the little boy laid on the sand. His lips formed a pout as he tried hard not to cry. It was his mistake after all, his parents had told him not to stray too far away from their spot on the huge beach. Him, being the hyper ten-year-old he was, had decided not to heed his parent’s warnings and had run after some seagulls that flew along the shoreline. He regretted it a few minutes later, when he found himself in the middle of a crowd with no clue of where his family was.

 **“Are you okay?”** A voice asked above him. The boy slowly fluttered his eyes open to see a pair of eyes staring back at him. The sun was being blocked by the person who the eyes belonged to.

 **“Not at all!”** The little boy quickly answered back in the limited English he knew.

 **“Why?”** The figure towering above him asked.

The boy quickly sat up; his eyes were red from holding back his tears. **“I lost mom. I lost dad. I’m scared.”**

 **“Um…I can help.”** The figure, who now the boy saw was probably a boy about his age, offered.

**“Please?”**

And with that, the boys had spent the rest of their afternoon in search for the lost parents. After about half an hour of searching, they had finally found the spot where the taller boy’s parents were at. As a thank you, they had offered to buy the other boy ice cream, which he gladly accepted. The rest of the day went by in a blur. They had attempted to swim in the ocean waves and eventually went to sit down at the table by the seaside shops.

“ **I’m happy I found you.”** The shorter, and younger, boy had said once they were done with their second ice cream of the day.

 **“Really?”** The older asked in disbelief. He was used to being scolded often for being too selfish and making other kids around him feel bad.

 **“Today my birthday, and I think mom forgot. And brother being mean. You nice though!”** The other boy replied with a pout, which quickly turned into a dimpled smile and happy eyes.

 **“But you helped me. So you nicer. I will try to be nicer like you always.”** The 11-year-old decided, taking the kind boy as a role model.

 **“Hm…then I will continue help people?”** The younger laughed.

 **“Yes! Happy birthday!”** A hug was exchanged between the two.

 **“We should get ice cream tomorrow?”** The shorter boy asked.

 **“For sure!”** The other boy agreed.

Just then, a woman rushed forward to the table in which the boys sat. The woman scolded the taller boy’s newfound friend. “Are you crazy? I been looking everywhere for you! I thought we lost you. I should have known not to put your good for nothing brother in charge of you.”

“Sorry mommy.” The boy apologized as the woman tried dragging him away. Of course, he had to say goodbye to his friend first though. **“Let’s meet tomorrow! Don’t forget!”**

And just like that, Yeonjun was left sitting alone at a table. He denied it when he told Beomgyu the small anecdote in high school, but he had gone to the beach and waited near the spot every day for the remaining week of his family’s vacation in hopes he would meet the boy again.

_Actually, that day I met him; it was his birthday. I will not tell you why because that is his story to share. I know he’ll share it with you, if only you two talked._

“Happy birthday Yeonjun!” Soobin exclaimed with others as soon as Yeonjun walked into the apartment he shared with some friends from university. In the room, about 7 of Yeonjun and Soobin’s friends congratulated the birthday boy before passing around the snacks and enjoying the small party Soobin had organized for the older. After socializing with the guest for a bit and cutting the cake, Yeonjun took the coordinator of the party to the rooftop of the building to eat their dessert.

“If I gain like 50 pounds after today, I expect you to take the blame. The food is so good. This cake is so good. Who catered for you?” Yeonjun asked Soobin with a mouthful of cake.

“I finally cashed in the favor Seungmin owed me and got him to order from Mr. Kim Seokjin’s bakery. Expensive, but I didn’t pay for it so it’s a win.”

Both boys let out a laugh before they fell into a comfortable silence as they both ate.

“I wish I hadn’t been so stubborn and invited you to my birthday hangout last year.” Yeonjun broke the silence.

“It’s okay, we are here now. It was worth waiting.” Soobin answered before he felt a head on his shoulder.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you celebrate your birthday? I never heard you mention it since I met you.” The older boy asked with caution. He felt Soobin tense up.

“Ever since I was little, I haven’t had good birthdays. I guess it was never really important.”

“Can it be important to me? It’s the day my favorite person in the world was born.” At this, he felt Soobin let out a deep breath he was sure the taller wasn’t aware he was holding.

“My friend Kai told me that once.” Yeonjun stayed silent after Soobin’s statement in hopes he would continue. “Then Taehyun threw a pillow at him and suddenly I was demoted to person number 2.”

“Taehyun would have gotten along great with Beomgyu.” Yeonjun joked. “Remember when Beomgyu-ah refused to talk with you because you said you thought k-dramas were stupid until you said otherwise?”

“Him and Beomgyu would probably have spend all their free time watching k-dramas with you.” Soobin smiled. Another moment of comforting silence passed before Soobin spoke up again. “You know, I was really sad when Beomgyu first talked to me. It was a few days after… the accident with Taehyun and Kai happened. I was really sad. Because it was the first time, I spend my birthday without them. And I really thought I was going to be alone again forever. I like to think that they are still looking out for me and that they send Beomgyu my way. And that they send you my way. I know it sounds stupid but… it really helps. It’s been a long time, but I miss them still.”

“…I’m sure they miss you two.” Yeonjun nuzzled into Soobin’s shoulder. “And hey, it’s not stupid. I’m sure they are looking out for you. I wish I met them. They seem really nice.”

“They would have liked you, but not more than I do. No one can like you more than I do.” Soobin said while prepping kisses all over Yeonjun’s face.

“Shut up, Soobin.” Yeonjun said, but with no malice behind his words, only playfulness, love and a big smile on his face.

_Even if you decide to never fulfill my other wishes just like you didn’t when I was here, do this for me. Soobin is also my best friend…I want you guys to be friends._

Soobin laid on the carpet of Yeonjun’s new apartment as Yeonjun unpacked the items from the brown boxes. Ever since the older of the duo had gotten a job at an entertainment company as a stylist, he had saved up money to finally move out of the cramp apartment he had been living in before. Now, he was able to have his own living space. Even though they had been emptying out boxes for a few hours, it felt like a lifetime to Soobin.

“Jjunnie~ can we take a break? You only need the living room now.” Soobin complained as he rolled so his belly was against the floor and his chin rested on his hands. “Please?”

Yeonjun slowly put the box that had previously been on the wooden coffee table unto the floor. He gave Soobin a small smile before nodding and joining him on the carpet. Tomorrow, they were going to attempt to move Yeonjun’s bed into the apartment. But that was for tomorrow, the only thing left to do today is to enjoy each other’s presence.

“Soobin.” Yeonjun had spoken to him after they moved to the kitchen to prepare their dinner.

“Yeah?” The taller boy had replied, not taking his eyes off the ingredients he was attempting to cut up.

“Um…I don’t know how to say this but…” Yeonjun slowly said. “Okay, I’m just going to rip off the bandage. Doyoumaybewanttolikemoveinwithme?”

Soobin hand came to a stop and he could feel his eyes widen. Had he heard him correctly? “What?”

“I asked…would you...want to live…together?” Yeonjun was met with silence. He could feel his heart stop. “Um, never mind. Forget I asked, I’m taking things too fast, aren’t I? I just really feel like we known each other for longer than we actually have, and I don’t know…I’m sorry I- “

Before Yeonjun could utter another word, he was met with a deep kiss from his boyfriend. “Are you an idiot? I been hinting at it since you said you were moving out your shared flat with Changbin, Wooyoung and Jisung… I thought you were just choosing to ignore it or something…”

“What? No? I thought you just meant you were going to move in with Lia or Yeji or someone else for your final semester…”

Soobin let out a laugh before he pecked Yeonjun’s lips. “I love you. Even when you are dense.”

Yeonjun leaned into his touch. “I love you too.”

_Spend his birthday with him, go to the small dog café by were we used to live, then give him my present, will you?_

Yeonjun couldn’t stop looking at the birthday boy as he ranted about a patient he had at his internship for school. Apparently, some people can’t even be respectful the professionals trying to help them.

“It’s just so dumb. But at least I got to have sweets today.” Soobin happily munched on the pastries him and Yeonjun had ordered. “But for reals though, I can’t believe people have the nerve to act like that.”

“I feel bad for the psychiatrist. She really seemed like she was trying her best.”

“She was! Dr. Kwon, the psychiatrist I was working with today, felt really felt bad about it. She even apologized to the other staff members because they had to experience that.”

After a few more conversations, there was only crumbs left on their plates. Yeonjun had insisted on paying for everything earlier, which had Soobin pouting for a while until they finally started interacting with the cute dogs in the small building. Without even realizing it, it was turning dark outside and both boys decided to finally leave the café.

“Ugh, I don’t want to go home already. I don’t want this day to end.” Soobin complained as soon as they stepped outside into the cold world.

“Can I take you somewhere?” Yeonjun asked Soobin while on their way home.

“…where?” The younger questioned. “Is it warm there? Is there food? I need more information about this “somewhere” you are talking about.”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes are this and took Soobin’s hands in his. “Just trust me, yes?”

Soobin looked at Yeonjun for a second before giving him a nod of confirmation, and with that Yeonjun started pulling Soobin to god knows where. To be honest, Soobin’s heart started beating quickly as soon as they passed all the buildings and flashy lighting. When the sound of traffic sounded farther away and trees and grass came into view, he knew exactly where they were and his worries were gone.

“I thought you were going to take me somewhere to murder me, not take me to the park!” Soobin joked as Yeonjun finally led him to their destination. It was a small patch of nature in the middle of modern times. Both of the boys had passed this park on their way to the coffee shop nearby when they needed a quick caffeine run in the morning.

“Ouch, you thought I was going to murder you? That hurts my heart, truly.” Yeonjun said dramatically. Soobin laughed at him, which immediately melted all of Yeonjun’s hurt away. The duo walked around the park for a bit, discussing everything yet nothing, before eventually sitting down, huddling for warmth among each other.

_That will be my last goodbye to him._

“Give this to him. Will you?” Beomgyu had made Yeonjun promise. Yeonjun took the purple envelope from Beomgyu’s hands. It completely contrasted from the white one that he had given Yeonjun prior to this request. “Soobin wrote me a letter for my birthday, you know?”

“I know. You bragged about it the whole month complaining that I never did that for you.”

“I did…didn’t I?” Beomgyu let out a warm chuckle. “Well… I promised to return the favor to him…but I don’t think I can anymore.”

“Gyu-ah…”

“I know you aren’t close to him now. But it’s his birthday soon. If I’m not here, can you give this to him, please?”

“You will be able to give it to him yourself! I just know it. You will- “

“Yeonjun-hyung.” Beomgyu stopped him with a cold tone. Yeonjun slowly lost his voice as Beomgyu continued. “And if I am here, save it for when I’m not. I told him I would spend every birthday with him till we graduated.”

Yeonjun could feel the tears build up in his eyes again. “Beomgyu…”

“Please? Let me keep my promise. Do me this favor please…”

A moment of silence was exchanged before Yeonjun agreed. “I’ll do it.”

_I’m sure I left his present in good hands by giving it to you._

“Soobin-ah.” Yeonjun whispered while laying his head on Soobin’s shoulder as they watched the lively city at night from the park bench. “Happy birthday.”

Soobin tensed up at this. “How did you…”

“Beomgyu told me. He…he also wanted me to give you this.” Yeonjun sat up straight, looking at Soobin straight in the eyes before he took out a purple envelope from his jacket. The light from the streetlamp above them made him look like an angel in Soobin’s eyes.

“…He told me he forgot…when I teased him about it last year…before he…” Soobin wasn’t much of a crier, even though Beomgyu used to claim otherwise, but his eyes burned right then and there.

“He told me to save it. For your last birthday as a university student. He wanted to keep his promise.” Yeonjun whispered. Soobin didn’t reply. He just took the gift which was soon stained with tear drops.

The older hugged the younger, a hug that is only reserved for those you genuinely love. One of those hugs that seems to last forever. A hug you don’t want to end.

“Happy birthday Soobin. I won’t let you be alone ever again. Especially on your birthday.”

_Well, this is all I have to say. Thank you for being my soulmate and brother. I love you Yeonjun-hyung._

“Beomgyu used to help me prepare the memorial services for Taehyun and Kai.” Soobin answered the question Yeonjun had while they stood outside the building most associate with pain, but that the duo had come to see as remembrance. “It’s weird preparing one for him. It doesn’t feel like a year. It’s like he is still here and there and…everywhere.”

“He always had a strong presence. Even he was just a shy freshman. He just had this overwhelming aura that made you want to be around him.” Yeonjun agreed.

“Do you think he made fast friends with Taehyun? He was always so popular and talkative at school.”

“I’m sure they are best friends now. They probably tease Kai together.”

“Sounds like something they would do.” Soobin smiled and squeezed Yeonjun’s hand before turning to him. “Should we get going?”

Yeonjun turned to look at the building one more time before he looked back at Soobin, “Mhm.”

And with that, both boys turn the other way, ready to continue with their day, but not without remembering those who loved them and kept them safe.

_I’m glad we got to spend all my tomorrows together,_

_With love, Choi Beomgyu, your little brother._

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Yeonjun-ah,  
> Yeah, I started this letter being informal with you. It will be the last time I’ll be informal with you; I promise. Remember when we first met? When you thought we were the same age for a whole month, and we called each other informally? That was the best month of my life. 
> 
> Before you, I never had close friends. You were my first friend. My best friend. My thrift store buddy. The one who helped me come out of my shell. I always looked up and admired you for that. If I’m being honest, if it wasn’t for the confidence you gave me, I would have never met Soobin. I know Soobin refuses to tell you or, well, anyone, the story on how we met. So, I’ll tell it for you one last time before I go, yeah?
> 
> It was a bright sunny day in Seoul, the birds were chirping, and the wind whispered careless nothings into humanity’s ears. Was that a poetic enough start? Heh. Remember that day I was super hungover from the party we had gone to? Yeah, I don’t remember the morning either, it was crazy. Anyways, I had gone out to the kimchi place near the hospital, remember it? I was peacefully eating my food when suddenly this HUGE TALL STRANGER started sobbing in the bench next to me. I’ll be honest, I would usually ignore strangers like this, it’s none of my business what they are going through! But I remembered all the times YOU had stopped to help these strangers. I have never met a person so selfless and kind in my life and never will meet someone like that other than you. I learned not to be so selfish from you. I was one of them too, when we met at the thrift store that day. I never understood where you got the confidence to come up to some boy crying in the dressing room that day. I never understood it. Not until that day. Not until I followed your footsteps and decided to be a decent human being myself. Talking about Soobin, I never understood why you hated him. I never will now, I guess.
> 
> Soobin is the sweetest boy I met, apart from you, Yeonjun-ah. Oh, how nice it feels to call you Yeonjun-ah!!!! But, yeah, Soobin is sweet. He is caring. He reminds me of that part of you that always cared for me. You guys could be soulmates. I wish you guys had talked more. I hope when I’m not there, you guys will. Talk. Hang out. Go to that kimchi place. And go to the thrift store. Hey, Yeonjun-ah!!!!!!! I’ll never get tired of that…but Yeonjun-ah, I’ll tell you something. It’s a promise you must make me. 
> 
> When I’m gone, spend Soobin’s birthday with him. He hasn’t had good birthdays. Actually, that day I met him; it was his birthday. I will not tell you why because that is his story to share. I know he’ll share it with you, if only you two talked. Even if you decide to never fulfill my other wishes just like you didn’t when I was here, do this for me. Soobin is also my best friend…I want you guys to be friends. Spend his birthday with him, go to the small dog café by were we used to live, then give him my present, will you? That will be my last goodbye to him. I’m sure I left his present in good hands by giving it to you.
> 
> Well, this is all I have to say. Thank you for being my soulmate and brother. I love you Yeonjun-hyung.
> 
> I’m glad we got to spend all my tomorrows together,  
> With love, Choi Beomgyu, your little brother.


End file.
